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DUWBureau of Unnecessary Phenomena
/// INDOOR RAIN APPROVED FOR KITCHEN/// WEDNESDAY-SHAPED FOG IN EFFECT 03:00/// WIND IS WATCHING - PLEASE WATCH BACK/// ECHOES ARRIVING EARLY - PLAN AHEAD/// UNFINISHED THOUGHTS AVAILABLE AT LOST & FOUND/// GRAVITY LEANS LEFT - WALK RIGHT TO COMPENSATE/// SCHEDULED SILENCE 14:00 - WORDS RETURNED 14:05/// APOLOGETIC LIGHTNING AT REDUCED POLITENESS/// ONE (1) ENTIRE TUESDAY UNCLAIMED/// FORMS ARE THE WEATHER OF THE DEPARTMENT

FORM 000 · UNNECESSARY WEATHER ADVISORY

The Department of Unnecessary Weather

We manage the weather that serves no purpose, so that you do not have to. Indoor Rain, Wednesday-shaped Fog, Apologetic Lightning, and other phenomena - filed, approved, and delivered for your inconvenience.

Current AdvisoryGEN-5425 · 11:31:13 AM

Fog of mild uncertainty

Harmless

The phenomenon is real in the way that paperwork is real: it exists because it was filed.

Duration: After every lightning, delayedVector: Observer / draft

ADVISORY

Indoor Rain is currently approved for the kitchen only. Do not open umbrellas indoors; it embarrasses the rain.

Entry Point

Review the full catalogue of unnecessary phenomena, each with case number, threat level, duration, and witness testimony.

Enter the Archives →

Department Status

Phenomena
12
Ontological
04
Unclaimed Tuesdays
01
01

Approval Chamber

Select a phenomenon, justify its existence, and stamp it approved or rejected.

Open →02

Observatory

Monitor the sensor grid and rolling bureaucratic observation logs.

Open →03

Lost & Found

Claim items lost to anomalous weather, from a 1994 shoe to an entire Tuesday.

Open →